Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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