I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
