Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
