i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
