i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
