3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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