so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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