She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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