smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
