Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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