pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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