summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
