Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
