Farmville is her only friend.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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