Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
