Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It's just like the Real World with babies
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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