god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
