just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
