I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
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