Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
