Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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