I want to make a zoo with you.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
