your room smells of hookers.
And success
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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