At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
