He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
