Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
