I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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