I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
