Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
ttyl tear gas
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
