You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
