go do what you do best...puke behind churches
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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