The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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