OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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