Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
