i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
