wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You may now shotgun with the bride
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
