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There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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