even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
