yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
