i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
