He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
