I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
It's Friday. Sex?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
