Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize