About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
