Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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