the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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