Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
