Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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