I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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