gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
