Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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