I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
