so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize