You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
