bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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