I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize