We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
