Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
