My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
