we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
