I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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