worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
